my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
