hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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