this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
