THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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