that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
