Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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