he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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