You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
