I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We don't watch enough power rangers
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
