I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
