I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
