I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So squirting runs in the family.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
