ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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