You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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