I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
