I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
