you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
