She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
