You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
