I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
