Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
