I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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