Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Randomize
