I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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