every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
