So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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