Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
