Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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