Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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