That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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