Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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