Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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