Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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