halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
