Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
