so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
