i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He better not be in your backpack
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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