Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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