Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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