If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
