That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You can't just leave with hair like that
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
