Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
