i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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