We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
