it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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