Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
