Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
This house was built for laser tag.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
