Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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