I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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