who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
