We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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