The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Two words: nipple clamps
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