I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he was CRYING into my vagina
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
