She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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