Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
