We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
