lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
