Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
a search helicopter?!
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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