he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
