Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
