i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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