he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
